I learned the value of a good dance party in college. I lived with a girl who has rhythm in her soul. Elizabeth and I would bop in the car, dance around the kitchen and watched every horrible dance movie ever made. I began to value the beauty of untrained and unrestrained motion to a beat. Letting go of any pride I had over not looking "cool" or "talented" and letting my oddly both on, and off beat motions become a cathartic release is something I will always cherish Elizabeth for teaching me. It was an invaluable lesson today.
This week I had two new girls move to my unit. They are the youngest children I have ever worked in this capacity with. I now have girls who are as many as eleven years apart in my care. Neither one of my new ones has ever been housed in a unit like mine. They are having a little trouble adjusting to not being in the only places they have ever known as home.
For the past two days, I have spent the vast majority of my 13 hour shifts with these children yelling and screaming at me. My knees are bruised from kneeling on our hard floor so that they can hear me when I speak, and they know I am listening to them. I have had to be hard with them, saying no for all the adults who neglected them and let them get away with terrible destructive habits. I am teaching them basic life skills while struggling to find the answers to the questions "why do I have to do what you say" and "who is gonna feed my mom if I am not there" and "why can't I go home". I am physically and emotionally drained.
Today, after tantrum #4 from one, and #6 for the other, I was sitting at the counter trying to get some of the massive pile of paperwork each tantrum entails done. Then I realized I was humming a song. I found it on my phone and pressed play. It is a favorite of one of my girls, so I called her over to me so she could hear it. She closed her eyes, threw up her hands and began to sway. My co-worker and I looked at each other and smiled. She hooked up the song to play over our sound system, restarted it, cut out the main light, grabbed our little dancer's hand and headed for the middle of the room. As I began my rhythmic gyrations towards them, we began to call out the other ones. Before we knew it, everyone was out of their rooms and staring at our three person impromptu dance party. The bolder girls became dancers 4, 5, 6 and 7. That left my two new ones.
Dance parties have an undeniable appeal, so after a brief moment of timidity, we had nine dancers giving it their all. There was universal laughter in the unit for the first time. Everyone was awkward, no one is going to win any dance competitions, but everyone swayed to the same beat for a minute. We connected. We released some of the tension that comes from either tantruming all day, or having to listen to it. My new ones made a fun memory in their new home. My older ones got to connect with their new neighbors. They all got to be kids.
After the song ended, we all were wiping tears from our eyes from laughing so hard. We hugged it out and went on with our day. That is the beauty of a dance, so much can be communicated in one song. I am here for you, I love you, we have fun here, welcome, be a kid and so much more was conveyed to my girls in less than five minutes. Yes, they still have a massive amount of stuff they have to work on and get through, but now we have the memory of the dance to make us smile as we work.
I would encourage you to take time in your life to dance, even if only for one song. Let your body sway to some beat that speaks to you, even if you can't quite get the rhythm right. Don't worry about how coordinated you look, just grab a friend and dance it out. If the dance doesn't help you, laughing at how ridiculous you all look sure will. Take a minute to have fun! The craziness of life will still be there when the song ends.
