There is a little one in my unit now that we call Tidbit. She is seven but my three year old nephew Jackson gives her a run for her money in the size department. She is so little that you can barely see her over the counter when she is standing next to it. She has an infectious giggle, gives great hugs, will choose a cheese sandwich over any other food and can scream for an entire day. We know this because she once had a screaming tantrum for an entire day. On her first day in my unit she had a tantrum. It is always hard when they have an issue the first day because we don't know how to help them yet. That day she was crying and screaming and I could't make out what she was trying to tell me. I reached over and began to pat her back in a heartbeat pattern. She collapsed into my side and calmed down enough to talk to me. The issue was far from over, but at least now she could talk instead of just wailing.The next day when she was screaming, one of our Program Coordinators tried the same method and she fell asleep, waking up in a much better mood. She had been tired and not know how to tell anyone. The heartbeat pat became a way to let her know she was safe, to help her calm down and to help her fall back asleep when night terrors woke her up. She got to where she would ask to "hug it out" when she was getting mad or upset instead of just screaming. She still has the fits, but they aren't as long or as frequent anymore.
Sunday I went to Chapel with my girls. We are lucky enough to have a place where they have freedom to express themselves with others who understand who they are and what they have gone through since we have a chapel on ranch, but there are still some behavioral limits. One of mine was using the stage like a drum, another one was staring at the boys, and another one was using praise and worship time as conversation hour. These girls have all been with me long enough to know when they get the "look" they need to stop, so thankfully we didn't have to make a scene. I thought the moment passed without recognition, but Tidbit had been sitting next to me. She saw me monitoring everyone else and shifted closer to me. I leaned down, thinking she wanted to tell me something, but she placed her tiny little hand on my back and started heartbeat patting me, still singing the praise song as she did. She continued to pat my back for the next song and then waved me down to her. She looked at me, bright smile on her face, and said "better miss?". I assured her that she had helped me greatly and thanked her for taking care of me. She smiled and said "you do it for us". We then sat and listened to the message side by side and went about our day.
The rest of the day did not go entirely smoothly, but no day does. When something hiccuped, I thought about Tidbit, knowing something we were doing was right. Everyday since then I find myself a couple times during the day thinking about that little hand, reaching up to me, offering the tool that helps her when she thought I might need it. Does a heartbeat pat soothe me? Not really. But her thinking about whether or not I was okay is something I cherish. Sometimes we don't have the right tool to offer, or words to say, but all that really matters is the effort. Sometimes, all it takes is for someone to try, and suddenly things start to look a little brighter, the world a little better, because someone took the time to pour into you in some small way. Tidbit gave me a gift and it is one I will always look back on as one of those moments when God spoke to me and confirmed that where I am is where I need to be.
