I have been lucky enough to travel to other parts of the world and experience new cultures and rhythms of life. In the Dominican Republic I rode on the back of a "moto" and was terrified out of my mind for 30 minutes as my driver proceeded to drive away from my group, leading to me being alone with someone and completely at their mercy. He then drove to a whole new area in Santo Domingo and told to get off in front of a dilapidated house I had never seen before. My panic made me lose what little language skill I have and he suddenly found himself with a human backpack as I wrapped myself around him and told him "it's gonna be a two for one deal buddy. I'm not getting off the bike." He was confused, I was terrified, and then an elderly woman exited the house and began yelling at him in rapid fire Spanish. He then seemed to realize this wasn't where I was supposed to be dropped off. I then realized that this house was the kind woman's home, and not a drug den where I was about to be sold. The woman then smiled and told me "You go home". We had needed a translator and this woman was able to step into our situation and help me get where I needed to go. We then zoomed through Santo Domingo once more and I found myself in front of the church we were working with. I was safe.
In South Korea, we got to go to a cultural event where many different types of music and dancing were performed. Before it began, I left my friend in our seats and ran back down to the subway station to use the restroom because I knew where it was and it was close. On my way down, a man saw me and started talking to me. I excused myself from the conversation and he followed me. As I turned to try to make myself as clear as possible, that I did not need or want his attention, I felt a hand on my arm. Yet another elderly woman was coming to my rescue. As she spoke rapid fire Korean to my unwanted shadow, he seemed to finally get the message. He then apologized and walked away. She however walked slowly behind me all the way to the restroom before patting me on the arm, smiling and walking away. This woman was able to communicate with me without words and ensure I was safe. I then got to go back to my friend and have an amazing once in a lifetime experience of visual and auditory art.
Overall, in both countries, I was surrounded by people who were helpful and kind and beautiful. I got to have moments of stillness to just watch and absorb how different parts of the world work. In doing this, I found that the more I absorbed, the easier it was to interpret and navigate these new cultures. Those moments of stillness helped me jump into the flow of life around me and not drown. Approaching these new cultures with a sense of respect and a willingness to learn was key. I, as the visitor to their daily lives, was not there to teach them to live as I do, but to see the beauty in how they live. In moments of confusion or potential harm, God sent me translators to help me navigate.
In South Korea and in the Dominican Republic I was around cultures that were markedly different to my own, but even here at home I am surrounded by different cultures. You are too. I live in a world that would give many of you culture shock. I speak a language that sounds like English, but probably wouldn’t make sense to most of you. My work is a whole new world and way of life and at the moment, we need a translator. We also need people to sit with our culture and take those moments of stillness to just absorb and learn.
The foster care system in the state of Texas is being rebuilt. There are some changes that will be great and I can see being so positive for our kids. There are other changes that baffle me. The way that we serve kids is under attack. Based on their own biases, not taking time to be still and absorb our world, we are getting judged. Like in the Dominican, when I mistook a lovely woman's home for a drug den, people have come in and judged us on what they see at a glance. In twisting our truth to serve their purposes, they are creating weapons to use against us that in no way help our children. We need a translator. We need someone who can speak both languages and be heard. My kids have been through enough.
The idea that all kids deserve a safe and loving home with family, be it blood related or not, is 100% true and valid. But there aren't homes opening their doors to my kids. There isn't a long list of foster homes wanting kids that we are snatching up and putting in a placement instead. Some of my kids have behaviors that make everyday life extremely difficult for them to navigate without an on call team to step in and assist. Some of my kids are terrified of places that remind them of home and take comfort in our structure as they heal. Some of my kids are part of sibling sets that are trying out life together again in a safe environment that allows them to be a part of the “we” but to focus on the “me” and not have to parent or protect. What we do matters, and we do it well.
I have kids moving emotional mountains and learning to trust again because of the world we have created here. God called me here and has equipped me to stand up for these kids for the past five years and I am still not fluent in our culture. I am still learning and absorbing as I go. I have learned that authority can be given, but respect is earned. At the end of the day, respect is what forms a relationship, and a relationship is where healing takes place.
These past few weeks we have been judged, re shaped, lied about, lied to and had to make rapid fire changes while being overworked and understaffed. It has been hard. My kids are, so far, protected from most of this as the team of adults surrounding them takes hit after hit while trying to help them feel safe, loved, seen and heard. Pray for them. This is their home. Pray for us that we can continue to discern what God wants from us as we move forward, and that on a Federal level, they will learn our culture with grace and understanding. Pray that they will listen to the ultimate Healer and Judge as they pass down changes. The Creator of cultures understands ours, and I am entrusting the whole situation to His hands. Pray that God will call up the right people to come do battle alongside me for my kids as we fight against an abusive cycle repeating in their lives. Finally friends, pray for yourselves, that as you go about your daily lives you will be able to respectfully learn the cultures around you as you work to impact your world for Christ.
