Verbal Skills

I nanny a four year old who is non-verbal. He tries so hard to communicate with the world around him, but the easiest communicational path is closed for him. Our days are a mash up of signs, gestures and sounds as we work together to make sure he feels safe, happy and loved. This has become my norm. I forgot that this isn't the way everyone operates until I took him to swimming lessons.
We were walking in and he was "talking" which means he is repeating sounds like a hard B or D over and over. I try to encourage talking so I was saying things like "Is that right" and "Then what happened" to try to keep him communicating. This is what we do day in and day out, but nobody else knew that. All they saw was something new, strange and different. I expected it from the kids, but I was a little amazed by how many parents stopped and stared. I decided not to let it bother me and went right on with our usual process. They could modify their expectations, my lil guy can't.
Later that evening I was thinking about the day and I realized that I am a lot like my lil guy. As years pass and life gets more and more real, I am finding myself less equipped to talk about it. Death isn't distant anymore, I have had people unexpectedly and shockingly taken from my life. The dark parts of human nature aren't confined to plot lines on movies I don't watch, but have reached out and touched some of my friend's lives. Things happen and I am not relying on explanations from my parents as they lead me through whatever lies ahead, but I am being asked to walk on as I make sense of what is around me.
Luckily, God understands. It doesn't matter if all I have to offer him is confusion, he knows my meaning. I don't have to know what to say or how to say it for him to help guide me toward what I need. My eloquence (or lack thereof) in no way determines his understanding of my heart. As life moves on, I am so thankful for this.
Being with the lil guy has also made me want to be as clear as I can be communicationally. It doesn't matter what he actually says to me, but it matters that I get the right message. In typical communication it is the opposite, and the responsibility lies in the message. If I say something to you and you hear something different from what I meant, it isn't your fault as the listener, but my fault as the communicator. I need to modify my message.
For example, I had just made a new friend in college and when she would talk to me, I would nod along and offer supporting interjections like "yeah" and "I know" and "that makes sense" as she spoke. She thought I was making fun of her and trying to cut her off! Whoops! This habit came from the fact that when I spoke to my sister and some other friends, those same comments meant that I was listening and following along with them. To them it was heard as "you're important to me, keep talking" to the other friend it was heard as "I'm bored, shut up". Same words, completely different meanings. As the communicator of those words, I needed to clarify their meaning and see how best to communicate that same message to this friend.
After constantly modifying all day everyday, I know it can be tiring, but isn't it worth it? While God understands without words, people need a little more help. Take pride in your message. Make it worth the added effort it may be to make sure that the people around you hear what you mean. Make sure those you love have heard that you love them in what you are communicating to them. Make your words count, and for what you don't have words for, know God understands and loves you always.