Safe Space

When I was growing up, safe space was something I took for granted. It never crossed my mind to think that I could walk into my kitchen and see my dad raising his fists at my mom. It never occurred to me to be worried that I would walk in and see my mom taking pills she wasn't supposed to take. My house was always the one that friends wanted to come to because no one would be drunk or fighting and my mom always had snacks. I had the mom that attempted to be a good hostess to whatever gaggle of friends I had with me that day. My dad has never made me feel unsafe despite being so much taller and stronger than I am. It wasn't until college that I began to understand that I had been raised in a safe space.
Safe space is something that I am still figuring out. I remember walking into my friend Elizabeth's house my freshman year of college and immediately feeling safe. As I sat around a table with people I didn't know yet, I could feel that these people were battle ready, having fought through their own as a unit. I was in a well established safe space and I was welcomed in with open arms. My Mississippi family is one that I know, despite distance and time, will be willing to hunker down with me and work out whatever I am up against. These are the people that when you have to say hard words, look back at you unflinchingly, and stand ready to be on your team when you tap them in. When I thought about my home, and Elizabeth's home, I began to get a better picture of how I could build safe space for others.
With my girls, safe space isn't easy. It isn't already established and we have to go through battles and storms together for them to be able to know that I am someone who is actively working for their good. Sometimes, they understand and use us as a growing ground, moving past where their abusers can reach. Sometimes, they are too untrusting and I can only hope the seeds I plant with grow into safe space when watered by someone else who is trying. But as I look at my co workers, ready and willing to battle whatever comes, I know I am yet again, surrounded by safe space.
Sunday was a hard day. My emotions got the better of me and I had to walk away from a situation because the child didn't need anymore of my tears. I knew, as I looked at the people who were attempting intervention with me, that they would do no harm, and seek to aid in the restoration process. I could walk away because I knew others were committed to making safe space for my girl. All I could do was pray from afar.
As I called upon the only one who knows all, sees all and can provide the help we needed, I felt that safe space again. God was enveloping me, giving me comfort and strength to stay and accomplish all that we needed to get done to get my girls though routine. I also began to pray for those who are coming soon. Right now I have two empty rooms in my unit, so here will be two girls with stories and hurts all their own moving in in the weeks to come. I want them to know, despite where they are coming from, that this is a safe space to heal and work. Friends, in the days to come will you pray that those who are coming to me, and those who are already entrusted to my care, will understand that they are in a safe space? Pray that they will be able to focus on what matters and not be distracted by the habit of worrying about old fears, like whether or not they are going to be beaten or fed. I would also challenged you to make sure that those in your circle feel they have a safe space to be vulnerable and land after storms. Be careful with your words and deeds. Be sensitive and open to listening to hard words. Be loving and kind to those who expect condemnation and rejection. Be Christ to a world who is in desperate need of a savior.