All the feels

I am not sure if you have figured this out about me yet, but I am not a very passive person. I may not always show it, but I have to work everyday on not being controlled by my emotions. Some days, I have great boundaries and am able to keep my game face on; other days I wear my heart on my sleeve and cry at the drop of a hat. (No joke, one time I was talking to my brother in law and realized I was crying because I could hear the music playing in the background from the scene in The Fox and The Hound when Widow Tweed drops Todd off in the forest. I wasn't even actively watching the movie!) This week some of my girls struggled with all the feelings as well.
I knew I was in for trouble when one of my minions walked up to me and was holding a gingerbread house in her hands. She proudly proclaimed that she had made it before christmas, but forgotten about it, and was very kindly asking me if she could eat it for snack that day. I hated to crush her dreams, but I didn't want her to have a stomach ache from eating a 2 month old, very stale, odd smelling, gingerbread house. She got a little upset and punched the top of the house, seeming shocked when the house suffered no damage at all. She then excitedly asked to take it outside and crush it. Now that, I could get behind.
She ran out and began gleefully throwing the bag the house was inside on the ground. After a few throws, she picked up the bag, looked inside at the demolished jagged pieces, and began to weep. I was flabbergasted as huge tears rolled down her cheeks and she wailed "it's broken!". She then attempted to run at a deer who was brave enough to come close to us to inspect a gumdrop that had landed on the grass because "HE CAN'T EAT IT! IT'S MINE!" As I am trying to de-escalate the situation, and figure out why, after intentionally breaking the house, this reaction is happening, I came to the realization that this was a case of the feels. It wasn't about the house or the deer, but just about being overtaken by an emotion and not knowing how to express that. We talked it out, hugged it out, and moved on.
I also have to move. I got my feelings hurt this week. Instead of talking to me about an issue, I got shut out and was shut down when I attempted to understand. I was stunned for a moment. This person knew just what to say to hurt me and exactly how to spin it to seem blameless and make me doubt my own intentions. As I was sitting there, beginning to question who I am at my core, trying to stop crying for long enough to catch my breath, it hit me; this was my case of the feels. I had been overtaken by an emotion and needed to get a grip. I wasn't quite yelling at deer, but it was close enough. I had allowed someone else to control my emotions and given them the power over me.
I took some deep breaths and looked at the situation again, this time asking myself what sitting and crying was getting me. Other than a headache, I had nothing. This wasn't helping me, and honestly, once I distanced myself from the emotion, I realized the entire situation had very little impact on my life. I could still be me, and live my life, in the reality I now found myself in.
It is the same thing I tell the girls all the time, never give someone or something more power over you than they or it deserve. They can choose to let the person who hurt them define them, feeling worthless and broken, or they can move from that, not excusing the actions of the past, but taking away the power they have over their future. It is hard, seems impossible and can shatter them to attempt to make that move, but it can also break them free from chains they have accepted as permanent parts of who they are. I can choose to continue to let someone walk all over me, or I can adjust my boundaries. We can sit in the feels, or we can move. Sometimes it can be nice to watch a movie or read a book that makes us cry, fills us with longing, or allows us to face some hard realities, but that doesn't need to be where we live. Emotions, while important, don't need to be in control. Next time you get the feels, ask yourself what impact this really has on your life. If you need to cry for two hours about chipped nail polish, I am willing to bet there is something else going on you haven't dealt with yet. If you feel all the feelings, and there isn't a cause, take a deep breath, count to ten, do some yoga, paint a picture, bake a cookie, take a nap, whatever you think might help, and then try to move from it. Just because the wave crashed over you, doesn't mean you have to be swept out to sea by the current. Remember you are made for much more than the pit of the feels, the sun will come out tomorrow, and God has never made a mistake and He made you!