Y'all. I feel like I should tell you guys that I have about 7 different journals and diaries that I halfway started growing up that never made it past a month. I always had the best of intentions, but horrible followthrough. One begins "I am 11 now so I am grown up enough to remember to write in this everyday." It then went on to list the boys I liked and how I was going to marry one of them someday. Well, since I am a single pringle, that part obviously didn't work out. And want to take a guess at how many days I kept up that practice of writing everyday? Just that one. It is the only entry in the entire diary. Well that and a pretty sweet drawing of what my wedding would look like. Art has never been my thing, but those potatoish looking people sure were sparkly! In my defense, all the diaries and journals look really cool on the outside so at least I have good taste in the books I never used! My blog somehow became one of those forgotten journals. It took multiple people asking me why I stopped writing for me to realize that it had happened yet again! You guys were witness to my forgotten journal number 8. Whoops! I would say something like "I am about to turn 30 and will be able to keep up with writing consistently because I am an adulting adult who adults" but let's be real...based on my track record, and how often I straight up forget I have a twitter account, it makes more sense for me to just say that I will try to be more consistent. Seriously. I will try. 11 year old Amy is shaking her head at me because she tried too, but hopefully almost 30 year old me will be a little more consistent.
So, basic life update time! I am still at my job and most days I love it. My work is challenging in the best way and I get to work with an amazing team. Some people have shifted off my team, and some new faces have stepped into the picture, but I couldn't ask for better people to navigate the chaos with. There are definitely days that I question my sanity and want to escape into a cubicle somewhere, but most days I am glad to be exactly where I am. I get to be surrounded by hills and trees and a tribe of people who keep me upright and moving forward. I may not have all the typical 30s boxes checked (house, husband, kids) but I have learned to own the path I walk and celebrate the journey I am on. My life may not be "typical" but it is wonderful.
Except when it isn't. I've been pretty open with you guys about my struggles with depression and this past year has had some difficult moments. There have been days when the trees surrounding my house feel like bars caging me in and I struggle to move or breathe or interact with anyone in a meaningful way. But those days, minutes, and moments pass. Honestly, my kids help. Seeing the things they carry, and the way they keep moving, encourages me to try again. God definitely knew where I needed to be in order to grow! Some days my victories are helping my kids find a coping skill or move on from an issue or move closer to a goal. Other days my victories are standing up and putting on deodorant. I've learned to count them all as wins. My life isn't very different from when I last let you have a glimpse of it, but hopefully, in the months I have lived since then, I have grown.
For the sake of helping myself be more accountable, i'm telling you here, that my plan is to write another blog before I am officially 30. I started writing the other day about my 20s and I think it is something I want to share with you. So for those of you still with me, thanks for sticking around and caring enough to remind me that I needed to start posting again. You communicating to me that this matters to you is more meaningful than you know!
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