Tap Out

When the world around us never stops, it can be so easy to get swept up in all the stuff that doesn't matter. We are always moving and doing, not stopping until we have to do so. Our business becomes an excuse to push aside the small things and not have time to do things that may be hard or new. I am learning many lessons this week and one of them is that rest is not a want, but a need. 

In my unit, we utilize something we refer to as a tap out. When I have been dealing with seven tantrums and three girls crying for no reason, it is easy to lose perspective and not have the patience the one who is asking me a question deserves. That is when one of my team members will come up and simply tap me out. It also works really well when one of the girls ties emotion to you during a tantrum. When someone else comes up to take over, the kid is given the out they need and you are given a break. It is an amazing concept. Whoever needs a break gets one and the kids understand that they have many people who love them and want to help. Tap outs keep us sane. 

They also function to strengthen the team. If I can't handle something, I know that Emily and Jessica are right behind me, watching what I am trying and ready to jump in if I need them. It is so helpful to know that anytime I am dealing with a kid, Emily or Jessica are right beside me. If I jump, they jump, no question. When I first arrived at the unit last summer, the kids would try to set staff against staff. The new kids still try, but it doesn't take them long to realize that we are a united front. I have never taken a step that wasn't watched and supported. I realize how lucky I am to be able to say that. My team has my back, ready to step in whenever I need them, even when I don't realize I need them. 

We are short staffed right now, which means that there are three people trying to cover as many shifts as four people (optimally five) would usually cover. Because of that, I was stressing. I am still fighting my infection with my 1/2 frozen face, but I was trying to put on my brave face and be there for my team. Saturday, Jessica told me to take off a few hours early so that I would be rested enough to work the next day. I agreed and went home to be taken care of by my sweet mom. I should have known my team would see through my brave face. Well, my 1/2 brave face... 

As I am relaxing and gearing up for the next day, my phone starts going off. Jessica and Emily have somehow worked it out that instead of 1 1/2 days off, now I had 4 if I would take them. They were tapping me out because I needed rest. I felt so selfish. How could I take the days when we were short staffed? That meant they would be giving up most of their time off. They were telling me to take time that we didn't have to give. I texted my supervisor (who is also amazing by the way) and he said they worked it out between the three of them. He would cover them, and they would cover me. Everybody was willing to step in because my body needed time to recover and rest. 

As I contemplated taking the time, I was reminded of our old dog Rusty. Rusty was our dog when I was growing up. We used to take him camping with us and when we would swim in the lake, Rusty would swim in a circle around us, keeping us safe. My dad used to watch Rusty, and when he would get tired, my dad would hold him up so Rusty could take a break. Rusty would always keep paddling though, even when he was being held. He couldn't take a break because he wanted to be sure we were all safe. It exhausted him. He would have to lay down after we were out of the water and take a rest because he was too tired from trying to swim the whole time. I realized I could be Rusty, and go beyond my means exhausting myself, or I could rest in the arms that were being offered. I took the time. I can feel the difference. After two days off, my face feels less tight, my cough is less frequent and I can hear out of both of my ears. 

And the unit marches on. Emily and Jessica are doing fine without me. Our supervisor Mark is pulling extra weight and stepping in. The girls routine hasn't been interrupted and no meteors have struck the unit. I tapped out and life continued. It can be so easy to tell ourselves we can't afford to take time off or rest. We have valid reasons that sound so good and noble for why we have to be the ones who do the 897 small tasks we have for the day. But sometimes, we need to tap out. We need to take a break, and I mean a real one, not binge watching shows on netflix or filling all our time with social calls. We need to sit with ourselves and check in, making sure we know who and where we are in the moment. We need to sit in the quiet with God and listen to his voice. We need to recharge. Sometimes that looks like having a coffee date with yourself for 20 minutes, sometimes it looks like taking four days to get back on your feet after three+ weeks of being sick. Whatever it looks like for you, take the tap out. Rest. Take a Sabbath. Take time for yourself before your body forces you to or you lose perspective on the small things. Delegate what can be delegated, step in to tap someone else out, and take the tap outs that are offered to you. You matter so take care of yourself! I am praying that all of you find rest this week. We all need some!